email from a coworker || 07.06.04 at 15:18
Greetings
This is Charlie. I am a hungry teenager who will most likely eat anything given to me, including small, woodland creatures and explosive compounds. Considering my desparate appetite, you might be able to imagine my amazement to find a lonely yet perfectly edible cheesburger sitting by itself in the break room. It took all my will to keep me from throwing myself upon it and stuffing it fangoriously into my slobbering face. I decided it was more honorable to try to find whose it was and beg for it on bended knee.
So, who is the lucky owner of this cheesburger? And if the answer is you, and you need help eating it, I will gladly be of service. And if you do not want me eating it, please respond quickly before my head explodes.
Grateful,
Charlie